life should not end when the heartaches begin...
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Posted:Nov 29, 2008 7:09 pm
Last Updated:May 9, 2024 8:49 pm 2087 Views
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There are times in our lives when we are swept over by raging emotions. Times when we are overwhelmed by sadness and overcome by misery. Times when we feel that we are loved only for the worth others could get from us and not for who we really are. It is natural to feel this way. Sometimes, we all need to be alone, to feel blue,, to feel lonely,,.. to listen to a song and cry….
Then we ask ourselves "Why does this song have to end??". Why do we have to cry when love is taken away from us?? Why does it have to hurt when we let go of someone we love?? In a relationship we treasure, the hardest thing to do is saying goodbye and setting someone free. In every last embrace a part of us dies. Every teardrop that falls washes away our hopes. Then we are left with nothing but pain and bitter memories because we have lost love but never knew how and will probably never know why.
We try to get away but every move we make somehow has its way of reminding us of the past all over again. Every turn of our head and every blink of an eye reminds us of love lost in eternity. It makes us wonder how one person can make us feel so empty,, so alone,,, so desolate….
Every song, no matter how beautiful it is will have to end on its last note. Like every day has its night, all that has started will have to end in its own time. It is an inevitability that we cannot restrain, something that we cannot control, and just a fact that we have to accept and live up with.
Let us remember that our lives doesn’t have to end where heartaches begin. Somewhere,, someone will come along and sing us his song of love. Someday someone will fill our lives with joy and happiness. Somehow.. we’ll find love again. It will wipe our tears and bring us the promise of a new life,, a new hope and a beautiful beginning……
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BROKEN ANGEL
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Posted:Nov 28, 2008 5:54 pm
Last Updated:Dec 11, 2008 4:34 am 3481 Views
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Ouch! the dreaded “friend” word. Once you become a “friend”, there is a little chance that you can get out from under that. This young man absolutely makes me melt in his presence. I have never felt that energy before. He rejected me in a very nice way, but rejection is a horrible feeling nonetheless…
I wonder if I should just stay away for awhile, since the pain is pretty intense, or if I should just settle to be his friend. I’m not sure if that’s possible however, I don’t know what to do. Rejection by the man I love has broken my heart…
Many times have I promised myself to stop…? I’m so over it. He doesn’t even care about me. I’m accepting his proposal that both of us have to be just friends. For the sake of me seeing him I did agree. Because every time I see him I feel so lost and forget all the pains he caused me and be happy about it. How foolish I am to be in love with a guy like him. I’m so blinded. Maybe at the back of his mind he will probably say that “this girl is so foolishly in love with me. She’s so easy that I can even use her every time I need something. She’s always okay as I see here”. But the truth is? He doesn’t know what I really felt. So much pain and sacrifices…. I’m so dying inside…Tears in the shadow that no one can see. All I did was cry! Letting go the pains I felt inside…because I can’t tell him how I hate him for giving me so much pain. I’m so scared to loose him and tell him that. Despite this I keep trying to reach him, but he keeps on running away from me…I hate him! Nonetheless I can never be mad at him…I have chosen to love him not to be mad at him…It’s not his fault if he really doesn’t love me. But why do I keep holding on????
I admit that I am so crazy in love with him…But how could he?!!! Comparing me to his present girlfriend is so unfair. I can never be them. This is me!!! Why can’t he accept that???!!! The way that I accepted him! Never did I compare him to anybody. Because I love the way he is…Though other people see many negative things in him towards me, still I keep on protecting him and fight for him…That what they see in him is not really him…I keep on telling them that he is nice and good person….That’s what I see in him…something good that nobody can define and see…
It’s not worth it I guess…there’s nothing in me that he sees but a childish girl who makes herself happy in simple things… For him its a shame…Making herself always feel better in a childish way…Because for her that’s the only way she can get out from being trap in a world full of sadness, disappointments, and pains…The life she has is not a life that someone like you can understand. Even so, in her own childish way she can be happy…. But she got lost. Her life was misdirected when you came along and play with her…She believed in you that made her denied herself….Just for a second of her life everything changes that leads her to sadness, disappointments and pains again…But as what they say everybody needs to be understood…And I do. Understanding you and loving you is what I always do…So I did play with you and give everything that makes you happy. Play with the game you love to play even if it hurts me…I never did try to complain…I just let you…I always tells you that what ever makes you happy I will be happy…But deep down inside of me is heartaches and pains…
I really don’t know if he knows how much pain he had caused me….You know what? I only heard him say sorry to me once. And I was happy about it. Even if I wasn’t sure if his sincere or not because the moment he said that, he was drunk. In myself never did I regret that I have said my countless words of sorry to him. That even though I have no reason to say sorry, I know I have my mistakes because I’m not perfect and I admit all of it. But him?! I don’t know….
You know what??? I always wish that somehow, with one close of my eyes I can feel you’re love and pray to
never open my eyes again…
So be it…I know what you wanted…I know what will make you happy…And that would be letting go of you totally…Even if it hurts me a thousand times…I will do it just for you…You will be happy I know…Seeing me going away from you will satisfy you and let you live your own life….
How can be someone like you hurt and break my heart this way??? And why did I let you??? Are you happy with it huh????…Maybe im not the right woman for you and maybe i could find the right man here that is why i joined this to share my weakness,problems and my life... I wish i could find my real happiness in life.. I do love you but i dont trust you anymore because you gave me so much pain in my heart that cannot be ease...Maybe one thing who can ease the pain is the one who can totally love me for who i am and what i am and who cares for me and i wish to find that person... With a pure heart and inner beauty... It doesnt what he looks the important is he is true and sincere to me... I wish to find him soon... I am so broken Angel...Though it hurts to loved with a wrong guy i never give up because i noticed that it would be a great challenges for me to be strong if i could love the right person and who really meant to me...
Would you ease my pain inside my heart>???
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